The week it all started to take shape

By redpanda On February 13th, 2010

Well apart from a bad day on Tuesday this week has been pretty good………….One interview on Friday and several job applications submitted over the week has really been productive…………..I just hope someone offers me a job offer soon even if its only temping for a bit again………….I really do not mind…………….as long as it stops my brain from fermenting I would do almost anything……………….

Tuesday was just an off day where nothing I did made sense I know why………….but its something I prefer not to think about……………..To be honest it will not happen again…………..I will not let it happen again and I need to be in control of me……………..I think I am winning the depression battle but some days it sort of creeps up on me………….without me even realising it…………..I also have to take control of my actions more……….and not rely too much on others making decisions for me or telling me what to do……………

Valentines day……………well I have got Tim a card and a treat……………..not sure if he has got me anything…………….Because I was horrible to him on Tuesday when I lost it I feel I have to make it up to him so a rather large treat is in order………………….

Been out on the bike again today and did the Throop Loop and saw bits of Bournemouth I never knew………….not been round by the Old Mill before and a lot of the track was fairly solid as opposed to Muddy………….and for once I did not feel wiped out halfway round………….went up to Hurn Forest and then back across Parley Common then Tim went and did the Loop again while I came home…………and I am quite proud of myself for getting up three hills in the last bit on the way home without having to walk any of them……………..I actually found some extra power from somewhere which made it easier to do………….not sure about the weir by the water mill though it was very narrow and yes I did fall off again landing very heavily on my already very much a problem knee…………….

I have been out and about a lot this week looking for work but feel more tired than when I was working………..also the Tinnitus is not helping and keeps me awake at night……………….I just wish that would go away…………………its currently driving me insane…………I had a pre appointment questionnaire to do for the hospital yesterday and I can honestly say that I only answered no to two questions……………….the rest were either yes or sometimes………….I really wish it would stop but it is always there and sometimes louder than at others……………..

Things are starting to look up……………lets hope that the rest of the time that I am off is going to be as good as it has been the latter part of this week………………