Trying to understand

By redpanda On June 4th, 2009


the events of the past few days (I am not going into the full details but it is a low point in my life) and trying to understand why what happened happened. I have cried so many tears over it that I have none left. All I can really say is what ever happens my family will always come first. When I get upset I try and think of happy things. Like some of the pictures I have taken over time. Like this one at Evening Hill a couple of years ago. I just love sunsets.

I am still working. Still getting good comments about how quickly I have picked up the job. My partner in crime, Linda is away now for two weeks. She has gone to Boston in the USA to visit family. I have not known her very long but we get on very well.

Did have one of my deep thought moments earlier. About how I can change the way that I am about certain things. The thing is though that change scares the hell out of me. May be I need to get away for a few days. Just have some me time somewhere quiet. But then I would miss the kids too much. I hate being apart from Ryan even when he is at school. They are both very special to me. I know I play the big bad mum sometimes but it just makes me love them more.

Feel a bit better today but still feel as if there is something missing……………….