So Much for the weekend

By redpanda On May 10th, 2009

Well it is now Sunday night and apart from going down to Baiter and taking photos on Saturday and going for a walk in the New Forest I have not done a lot. Though it feels like it has lasted forever. It has not been helped by the fact that I felt really headachey all weekend. The paracetamol have only just kicked in. The only thing is if I say anything I get told there is always something wrong with me, if I don’t then I get moaned at for not saying anything.

I used him indoors camera yesterday for the first time properly. With the big lens on it. Most of them came out ok it would seem. A few blurred ones but for me that is normal. Even with my camera. I love taking pictures. The daft thing is I hate having my picture taken. I detest it when I am caught unawares and have a stupid look on my face. I will put a picture in my profile at some point.

Going for a walk in the New Forest was nice. Child free, Kristie at work and Ryan was playing next door. It was just so nice under the trees and not too muddy like where we went the other weekend. We went to a part called Anderwood which is near Burley. It was just so nice to get some time alone, just the two of us. It also cleared the air a bit as well which helped. I get so hormonal sometimes. I can lose it over the least little thing and that gets me in all sorts of trouble. I thought that after having surgery two years ago that the hormones would have settled down but the last couple of days have been some of the worst ever. I must mention it to the doctor next time I see him.

I start CBT for the depression tomorrow. I am not sure what to expect but have been told that it is to try and rationalize my way of thinking. I have trouble thinking now so goodness knows what I will be like after this. I am sort of nervous but also looking forward to finding out what it is all about. I have been a lot better since the doctor changed my medication and doubled the dose on it. I still get scared but I am a lot happier in myself. I know with the love that my family have given me I will get through this.

I am also on the job hunt tomrrow again. Nothing online over the weekend but have a few agencies to see tomorrow and Tuesday for temp or permenant work. Even a long term contract would suit me right now. I just need to be working all the time. It stops me from sitting here thinking about what could be or what might have been.

More Waffle tomorrow after diet club.